Coming Back To Life

Dealing with nerve pain is frustrating and the process of healing nerve damage is slow and unpredictable. A physical therapist once told me that nerve damage heals at between half-an-inch to an inch per month. At more than two years post-surgery, I guess I’m right on schedule…

To follow up on the last post, about a week ago I noticed a change in the sensation on the outer side of the big toe on my right foot. It is one of the two remaining areas of nerve damage that has not yet returned to normal. There was more feeling and the spot that was still numb was definitely smaller. Today I woke up with intermittent sharp pains in that toe; tonight, the last spot (an area on my right calf) started to hurt as well, and, at the moment, my toe feels like it is on fire. It may sound funny, but this is good news and a VERY big deal for me.

Over the course of all this, I’ve learned to recognize the signs of a nerve regenerating. The numb spot starts feeling weird (a very technical medical term), is replaced by the intermittent pains, then, eventually, normal feeling returns. The last of the damaged nerves quite literally is “coming back to life.” And so am I.

This August will be three years since all this turmoil started and I feel GOOD! Hope and faith have replaced doubt and fear. Who knows what will happen between now and my birthday? I’m progressing with my work. At the rate I’m going, it’s quite likely that I will have lost all the weight I want to by then, be well on my way to getting back into condition, and have regained all the feeling in my legs and feet. (Hey, this is sort of like getting a new body!) I danced today. I sang; I played music. Life is good.

As I watched a cottontail browsing among the greening grass, verbena, and Indian paint brush in my yard, I realized that I’m happy. Spring comes late in the high country, but eventually it arrives. And with it, a middle-aged woman’s thoughts turn to…well, I gotta try this new body out, don’t I? ;-)